Through the eyes of an Angel [Remi's blog]

[Remiel]

Okay. I’ve been on this planet for what, a week now? And I’m already “in-dept.”. What the hell is it with you humans and money?! It’s like some weird obsession! I mean, there’s no money in the afterlife, and we all get along just fine. Mind you, it’s a lot more fun down here.
Humans have some of the best ideas! Like those little toothpick umbrellas that you put in drinks! Seriously, I sat there, in a bar, for like quarter of an hour just playing with one of those things, trying to fully work out the use of it! It even opens and closes! Humans have the most fantastic ideas for brightening the place up!

I also saw this other thing on the moving picture box you all have in your houses the other day, I think it was called a slinky. It looked like so much fun! It must be shy though, only moving on stairs and down steady slopes. I’ll have to ask Nate where you can catch one in the wild…it must be pretty easy right?! We could keep it as a pet! I wonder what you have to feed them….

I want to experience anything and everything I can in this world, every emotion, every feeling. The afterlife was so uptight I never really lived, and the only time I got drunk was the night before I was banished. But that’s a story for another time.
The only socialisation I used to get was with the souls I escorted to the cross over…and they had such interesting stories! So many, about their lives, their families…and I want that too.
I want to live like a human; not an Angel. I want to bend to temptation, and seize the day.
Ladies and gentleman; please don’t be alarmed. I don’t bite. Hard.

Peace out~

[Remiel]

So, after 10 minutes of looking through the mail slot in Nate’s door, asking “Does this satellite person deliver the sound and images in bulk or one by one?” and insisting we would run out soon, I finally found out how the television works. For the first time in a looong long time, I felt like an utter fool. But Nate didn’t mock though. He’s too nice sometimes. I would have mocked if I’d have had to explain to him how the orb of the heavens worked. Duhh. Everyone knows that.
The TV was my first battle this week. My second is my on-going war against the golden menace who now resides in our living room. Just sat there. Staring at me.

Once Nate had told me John, our resident pet Slinky, wasn’t actually alive, he promised me he’d sort out another companion for me to look after. So I got really excited and couldn’t wait, annoying him for hours a day asking exactly when he was going to get round to getting off his butt and buying me one. So when he called me a few days ago and said he was going to this thing called a “pet shop” after work to get me a surprise, I was ecstatic. The heartless bastard also called me at lunch time, winding me up by making me wait the 6 FRICKING HOURS in the house, alone, until he got home. It was torture. I ALMOST DIED.
Okay, that was an exaggeration. But it was a pretty cruel :(
When I FINALLY heard the latch on the door click I launched myself at Nate, who panicked and almost dropped the glass bowl he was carrying. I got told off for this later.
That was the first time I laid my eyes on my current nemesis, and he laid his CREPPY ORBS OF CERTAIN DOOM on me.

I mean, this thing was the creepiest thing I had ever seen. It was orange. BRIGHT ORANGE. With big, piercing bubble eyes and disgusting scaly skin and and and IT JUST WASN’T NAUTRAL. I shot back, wings in prime position, as far away as I could from the creepy little bastard and its glass fortress. I wasn’t scared. I’m never scared. IT JUST WASN’T NAUTRAL.

So after a talk with Nate, I found out this thing (now affectionately named Lola) was called a goldfish. And it was staying. It had brainwashed Nate into keeping it. His silly half human brain was tricked by her powers. Something that weird looking must be an evil mastermind. So my war goes on. I will not kill her, no, that would be the easy way out. And she’d see it coming. DAMN YOU LOLA AND YOUR MIND GAMES.

Peace out~

[Remiel]

I’m meeting new people every day, and it’s fantastic. This week I met a guy called King in a bar. KING IS AWESOME. He’s now like, my best friend. Seriously. This man= living legend.
He invited me to his house the other day, its WAY bigger than Nate’s. Not that I don’t like Nate’s house. You know what, that man is almost always popping into my thoughts! It’s like he has a link with my brain and just has to tell me to think of him and then he makes me make me think of him! I haven’t told him about this, I’m scared he’ll use this link for evil deeds, if he can in fact control my brain. I’ve never met anyone like him before…

Anyway, I digress. Kings house was MASSIVE! And his servants are really nice! One of them fell asleep and I couldn’t help but joining all these tiny, ginger splodges all over his face with a black marker I found lying around! And King didn’t even tell me off! HE JOINED IN! And he drew me an awesome slinky. So I drew a face on this kid’s butt, called it Oscar and was about to dare Nate (SEE! THERE HE GOES AGAIN!) King to kiss it when the kid woke up. Now, I know it was probably mean, but I couldn’t help but laugh at the cute, disgruntled face this kid made! But King laughed too, so it was alright. The kid didn’t find it so funny. I didn’t apologise afterwards, so sorry kid, send my love to Oscar.

I stayed at Kings that night, and the next morning him and the same little ginger servant took me out to see the pond in the garden. I was happily standing there, looking down at the water while King told me all about his garden when something whacked my back, sending me flying into the pond. Obviously I panicked; I can’t swim, so I thrashed about in the water, trying to stop myself from sinking. Then I realised the pond was only knee deep. Yes, I felt like a fool.
I looked beside me and saw King, also soaked through from his fall in the pond. He was panicking more than I was, and as soon as he realised he was still sat in the cold water he shot out onto the side. I couldn’t help but laugh; his lovely, flowing blonde hair and bangs were now stuck to his face, a murky brown tint to them. He looked so dishevelled, I just wanted to kiss his forehead, make him feel a tiny bit better.
I was too busy chuckling to look into the water, until I felt something nudge my arm. A flash of orange. A strange, unpleasant nibbling sensation at my finger. My eyes shot open when I saw the culprit. A FREAKING HUGE ORANGE AND BLACK FAT-ASSED VERSION OF LOLA. AND IT WAS TRYING TO DEVOUR ME IN ITS TOOTHLESS MOUTH.

I shot from the pond with a yell, faster than King had, desperate to get away from the monstrous fish. I clung to King tightly, hoping he’d protect me from the fiend.
I’ve never seen him and the ginger servant laugh so much.

Peace out~

[Remiel]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Okay. Frustration aside. I’m having a…well…down week. I’m utterly lost with this human thing. I’ve started…getting these…well…feeling things. Ya know I said about that mind link with Nate? Yeah? Well, No. It’s…not a mind link as such. I looked it up on the spiders web, and I think I might…well…love Nate. And I mean love love. Not family love. Like love love love love. Seriously. I don’t even understand it. Apparently love love love love is meant to be between a male and female human…and obviously as far as I know, Nate’s a guy. Yes, I’ve slept with both guys and girls, but…love isn’t like that, is it? Love is different to physical intimacy. Utterly.

So I’m shocked a little. And confused. I…just want someone to sort this out for me. The spiders web told me to tell him how I feel, and take him out for a meal and to parties and sleep in the same bed as him and hold him tight and never want to let go. And I don’t. I really do want that. I want to sit on his lap as he plays his piano thing and kiss his nose and be in Nate’s bed.
1, it’s SO much more comfy than mine and 2, Nate’s in that bed. And it smells like Nate.

I’m…gonna go work this out. Party later. I’ll ask Nate to come with me. See what he things of these…things.
Short and sweet entry.

Peace out~